Dating Advice

Tips on getting a date using LGBT Web Dating

So You’ve joined! Congratulations on getting this far. Now you just need to attract potential Soulmates. The way to do this is to make your profile reflect your alluringly interesting personality. Think of yourself as a love spider out to catch a hot date – it’s time to get to work on your web. We have some helpful dating advice to start you on your way.

DO portray yourself in a positive light.

You ran the London Marathon in under two hours last year? Put it down. You regularly rescue cute kittens trapped in trees? Put it down. You once voiced a character in The Simpsons? Put. It. Down. Avoid boring generalisations and be specific about your interests and hobbies. Make your first sentence a killer – it could pop up at any time on the ‘featured’ profiles section.

DON’T be negative.

No-one wants to read your list of bugbears and failed relationships, unless you are Charlie Brooker. He has a knack of making negativity funny.

DO be honest.

You may be tempted to exaggerate but think about how you’d react if the situation were reversed. No-one likes a nasty shock on their first date …

DO add photos.

Lots of photos. It’s a proven way of attracting more interest in your profile. Make sure they’re of you though. Potential dates will not be fooled by that photoshoot you lifted from Men’s Health / Vogue.

DON’T be a stranger.

Having the best profile in the world won’t necessarily mean a deluge of emails flood your inbox. You need to be proactive in your hunt for a Soulmate. Get out there, browse profiles, see who catches your eye. Don’t be too fussy at this stage … that can come later.

DON’T send mass emails.

Carpet-bombing is not a tactic to be used when trying to find a date. Put the effort in and you’ll be rewarded. Once you’ve found a profile you like the look of, read it, then create an email tailored to that person. It’s just more flattering that way.

DO learn to take rejection gracefully.

Sending a 800 word rant to the person who failed to reply to your declaration of undying love is just not cool. Two hours later, when it’s too late to take it back, you’ll feel embarrassed. We guarantee it. Try not to get frustrated when people don’t reply. Maybe they’re not the right person for you, but there are plenty of others out there.

ON YOUR DATE.

Will he/she like you? Will you like them? IS ‘SEXYBEAST2010’ the love of your life? Thinking about your first date can become a bit overwhelming. Stop. Relax. Try not to build up your expectations. Even if your first meeting turns out to be the last it would be nice to go away with the feeling that you’ve had a good time, right?

DON’T forget your manners.

Have a shower, wear clean clothes and show up on time. Also, it’s just plain rude to take a long phone call from your mum or embark upon a text marathon while you’re on a date. Unless it’s an emergency – or you’ve faked one because the date is going so badly – put your phone away for the evening.

DON’T do the obvious.

Often dinner and drinks can feel a little like a job interview. Sat opposite each other, the table between you can start to feel like the conversation-killling equivalent of the Berlin wall. Why not visit an exhibition or go to a market on your first date? It takes the pressure off, gives you something to talk about, and if sparks don’t fly, at least you’ll have had a fun day out.

DO prepare.

Think of five open-ended questions to ask your date; some based on their profile and a couple on current events. If conversation dries up, use them.

DO tread carefully.

Guardian Soulmates are an opinionated bunch and the great thing about online dating is that you’ll probably already have things in common. However, it makes sense to hold back from particularly sensitive subjects until you know your date better. Maybe steer clear of America’s pro-life movement or the time you had a rash ‘down there’ (although if you get lucky mentioning this might be advisable). Listen and observe the body language of your date, if they start looking uncomfortable, change the subject.

DO leave your emotional baggage at home.

This is not a therapy session. No-one wants to hear how you were marked as a failure when, at age five, you were pooed on by your next door neighbour’s hamster. Focus on the positive and sell yourself. At the same time though, make sure that you listen to your date. A conversation flows two ways.

DO think about money.

Come prepared to pay your way and don’t feel obliged to let the other person pay (or, indeed, feel obliged to pay for your date). If your date insists on paying for a meal, try to buy a round of drinks later in the night. Don’t put yourself in a situation when you feel like you owe your date something.

DO be honest.

It can feel awkward, but don’t string people along. Don’t say ‘let’s do it again’ if the idea of a second date gives you cold chills. Don’t say you’ll call if once the evening’s over, you’re going to block their number, set fire to your phone, then flush it down the nearest loo. Be kind, but tell the truth. If you did have a good time, say so – a Soulmate who’s capable of mind-reading is rare.

DO I or don’t I?

Once upon a time a peck on the cheek and a flash of the ankle was considered quite enough titillation for the evening, thank you very much. These days people often move faster. Ultimately, it’s up to you how far you take things on a first date. Just remember to be safe, be honest and wear a clean pair of pants.

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